Missing teen believed to have jumped off bridge Comments on Stories, posted by Editor, Danville Weekly Online, on May 25, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Officials with the California Highway Patrol announced Wednesday that the ground search for missing Danville teenager Allison Bayliss has ended. Authorities believe the 15-year-old jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge late Monday morning and search teams have since shifted to a water recovery operation in the area near the bridge.
Read the full story here Web Link posted Wednesday, May 25, 2011, 12:18 PM
Posted by mch, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 25, 2011 at 12:39 pm
What a terrible tragedy. My heart goes out to Allison's family and friends. Having lost my sister to suicide I know how badly they must be suffering. I hope they will find comfort in one another and consider getting help from a therapist or support group. The Contra Costa Crisis Center (www.crisis-center.org) is an excellent resource; I have attended their survivors of suicide support group and found it very helpful and therapeutic.
Posted by Elizabeth, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
My heart goes out to the Bayliss family - this is so tragic. I am also grateful to the boys that set up the Facebook page, which provided information and support to the entire community. Thank you for providing something that helped to unite everyone - that was a wonderful thing you did.
I think the best thing I can do is to make a donation to a suicide prevention organization - or maybe SRVHS could organize a fundraiser and the community could get involved and assist.
The vigil seems to be the best way to show support right now.
Posted by srv, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 25, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Counselors were meeting all day long with students who were sent to them. There were also psychologists on campus and a crisis team. There seems to be some misinformation out there. The district is doing everything it can.
Posted by Carol P., a resident of the Alamo neighborhood, on May 26, 2011 at 8:05 am
Please do not let this poor girls death go in vain. I hope all the kids will wake up and look around to see if there is anyone else among them that may be suffering. I think our community is too caught up in themselves and how to get ahead and does not want to acknowledge anyone who may be in pain or hurting. I think it's wonderful that so many people have come out to help and support the family. I just wonder where were they when Allison was hurting.
Posted by A Mom, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 26, 2011 at 9:14 am
SRV are providing services and keeping all of us informed. So Elizabeth please let's not start blaming institutions or teachers for doing or not doing whatever you think should be done. It is up to us "the PARENTS" to now do the important work. I have started a conversation with my children about life's possible "rollercoaster" during teen years. I remember as a teen being very upset some days and bouncing back the next. It can be an up and down adventure. If kids know this info, they can start to see a pattern. Mental illness is of course excluded from this pattern. I also have explained to my children that the most precious of all possessions is their lives. ALL religions (except extremist) have a similar view of life and suicide. I am very sad over this tragic event. It is disturbing and painful for me, let alone for the family. We are all going to hurt over this, but we as parents need to start a conversation with our children. Find the wisdom from your experiences and share it. Kids are like sponges. They want to hear bits of wisdom and insight. They tuck it away and build upon it with their own experiences. Keep that wisdom flowing for as long as possible.
Posted by Julia, a resident of the Alamo neighborhood, on May 26, 2011 at 10:09 am
Yes, this is very, very sad. [Portion removed] I know what it is to loose a love one. The loss of a child is the most heartbreaking thing a parent will ever go through.
A mom from Danville said to look at your children tonight and give them a hug. I would strongly suggest to not just look at your child, but TALK TO THEM AND LISTEN TO THEM - TALK TO THEM AND LISTEN TO THEM, they may be trying to tell you something.
Posted by Elizabeth, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 26, 2011 at 10:28 am
The vigil last night was wonderful, and to see the kids in this community sharing their experience and comforting each other really demonstrates their compassion.
Posted by L, a member of the Greenbrook Elementary School community, on May 26, 2011 at 11:59 am
My heart goes out to this family and to our community of youth. This is so tragic. I am so sad that this young lady chose this as her answer to what was bothering her. As a mother of two children it just breaks my heart. I had a friend tell me this is an opportunity to talk to our children. and yes listen to them. Prayers and hugs to all.
Posted by Lois, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Scrump's comment is excellent. The schools need to be careful not glorify what this young lady did. Her actions have hurt so many people. There is no doubt that there is great sadness, but it must be tempered with a rejection of suicide and an understanding that such an action is cruel to family and friends.
Posted by JL, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 26, 2011 at 1:20 pm
[portion removed] It is time now to talk to our kids and reach out to one another. Kids at school need to respect each other, love one another and listen. My heart and prayers go out to her family, I cannot imagine what they are going through.
Posted by Pier, a resident of another community, on May 27, 2011 at 10:00 am
Good morning Gina,
My suggestion is to provide the readers and members/non-members who participate in the forums with a policy that indicates the restrictions and censorship the "Danville Weekly" enforces, such as your statement in which Freedom of Speech is not allow or tolerated and based on which press law are you censoring the postings and removing their comments.
As you perhaps know people are grieving and this events has caused them pain and suffering, and are using your paper to share their feelings with. SRVUSD is offering help to students in the schools with counseling, adults are coping alone.
Perhaps some audience of your paper wish to continue the search for the student. Her Flyer still in the National Missing Children's page. As you know the news impacted the community, but they do not have closure because there is no confirmation of the remains, and the CHP said this is an ongoing "open" Investigation.
Posted by Marie, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 27, 2011 at 11:01 am
As far as the portions removed, don’t we have a freedom of speech in this country? We fight in wars ever day to keep that right. I agree that you should remove rude or hurtful comments, but I haven’t seen anything inappropriate here (thank goodness).
As for this typic…
Is it crazy to hold out hope? No body, no death?
I don’t know which is worse; knowing that she committed suicide and you will never be able to hug or talk to her again, or not knowing if she is alive or dead and wondering “what if” every day.
I don’t know this family, but I have talked to a lot of people who know them personally. Everyone agrees that this is a great family. I have heard wonderful things about a father who is very involved in the community and a daughter who is/was a bright and shining star; I just wish she knew that.
I saw the photo of her coming off the Bart, she looked normal as if there was nothing wrong. It is so easy to hide your misery and depression.
Everyone needs someone to lean on, someone to talk to, someone to love them. Please, be that person to someone today!
Posted by Elizabeth, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 27, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Gina, though I respect your right to remove portions of posts, your reasoning does not ring true regarding the portions removed from my comments - I would never speculate regarding this child's or any other person's motives, and I would blame no one in this situation or any other. I also wonder why you removed the portion where I clarified how I know the grief resource that I recommended to my neighbors on this forum. I would think that might be helpful to others to know the recommendation came from a clinical professional who cares about her neighbors and their children.
I am exceedingly heartened to see the outpouring of support from the community, especially as it relates to support for Alliy’s family and the children who knew her. Although we can’t know what led her to her heartbreaking decision, hugging and talking with our kids and being more kind to others as a daily practice can only make this a better community for all.
Posted by Sally, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 27, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Why didn't the school notify her parents when she didn't show up to school on Monday. Don't we have a truant officer or something like that. I thought that was why we are supposed to call when our children are going to be absent so the school won't have to follow up on their absence. How awful to think that your child is safely at school only to find out hours later that they are missing. My heart breaks for the Bayliss family and for the kids at the high school.
Posted by Harald A. Bailey, a resident of the Alamo neighborhood, on May 27, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Might I suggest that your commentators in this exchange pose questions rather than speculate on answers. At the present time, local and state authorities are continuing an open investigation to determine the result and cause of Allison Bayliss' disappearance. As a responsible journalist, you have asked that commentators respect that investigation and asking questions for your further journalistic efforts is a rational effort by commentators and EMCEB.
I would further suggest that commentators concentrate on the impact on the Bayliss family and friends deeply distraught by events. Exchanges in the forum need to focus on service to those deeply hurt by the disappearance.
Posted by Charles, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 28, 2011 at 8:26 am
Dear Hal and Gina,
How dare you tell me or others what to focus on. You are not the moral or legal authority in this horrific situation.
While I agree you wanting to focus on the family, we also need to focus on the pressure teens face today so parents and peers can see the warning signs before its too late. The "answers" are part of that conversation. As a teenager, we all need to be aware of the behaviors and actions someone in distress is showing so we can help and notify school officials and parants.
Ignoring this discussion and telling others not to go there is irresponsible and unacceptable. This is the time where parants and teachers are sitting down with their kids and talking about this. That includes QUESTIONS and ANSWERS or "speculation."
Parent: "Now stop right there young man! Don't you dare speculate or ask me questions as to why someone would take their own life! Lets wait for the police investigation to conclude before we talk any further." Get my drift Hal and Gina!
God bless this family. Lets all discuss this so we can hopefully prevent it with another distressed teen or adult. No matter how painful the answers or speculation may invoke, it may help other kids.
Posted by American, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 28, 2011 at 10:38 am
Charles: Thank you for your well written and thoughtful views and opinions. I tend to agree with you. Obviously, any inappropriate posting should be removed, in respect to the family. However, the use of censorship seems excessive in this matter, and Hal is the last person who should be giving anyone advice on anything. Lets pray for the family, and pray that our young people who are depressed or overwhelmed talk to a friend, a parent, a teacher, a counselor, a coach, a priest, or anyone, as open communication seems really important to anyone who feels isolated or depressed.
Posted by Elizabeth, a member of the San Ramon Valley High School community, on May 28, 2011 at 11:44 am
American, you and I often don't see eye to eye on this forum but I agree with your sentiments and I thank you for your clear and thoughtful response to Charles' excellent post. Well done.
For me, I think of a hierarchy of devastation related to grief. Those most in need of our thoughts and prayers are those most affected by the tragedy - Alliy's family and close friends. Then there are Alliy's peers, who are vulnerable in a unique way given the biological and emotional challenges at their ages - they are not yet "fully formed" and have greater difficulty processing this experience. Then there is the rest of us, many who are collectively sharing our experience and trying to figure out how to support those higher in this hierarchy. My son knew Alliy, as he was in a class with her this year. He is struggling to understand all this, and I'm treading new waters in how to help him.
My understanding is that the family has created a fund at Wells Fargo to continue to support causes that were important to Alliy. What amazing people, that in the course of their grief, they still honor what was important to their daughter and contribute to better lives for others.
Posted by Mark, a resident of the Alamo neighborhood, on May 28, 2011 at 12:59 pm
My heart goes out to the parents and family of Allison. I would like to know why police have called off the ground search. There is no proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that she did jump. How do we know she isn't in hiding somewhere or someone assisted her in making everyone think she committed suicide? All I'm saying is until her body is recovered all hope should not be giving up. Hopefully some miracle will happen and she will be found alive & safe.
Posted by Marie, a resident of the Danville neighborhood, on May 30, 2011 at 11:25 am
[Portion removed because it referred to a deleted post.]
As I mentioned previously, I have heard wonderful things about this family; and I am so sorry that they are dealing with this. I still pray that she is alive and well somewhere. I hope that this family can lean on each other during this difficult time; and that our community will stand by them and help wherever and whenever needed.